Chuck Norris is the toughest man that ever lived.
Guns do not kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
There is no theory of evolution. There is only a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Remember global warming? It's not from human pollution after all. Chuck Norris got cold so he turned the sun up.
"Does Dirk Richters' ghost haunt the bordello where his bullet-riddled body was found?-Bart Simpson
"No child ever meddled with the Republican party and lived to tell about it."-Sideshow Bob