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Postby O.Supreme » Thu May 09, 2019 12:10 pm

Weddings, Showers, Graduations, Bar Mitzvahs - There's several reasons why people may send out the ever popular RSVP Invitation. Some people (like myself) would rather avoid all such occasions, and some people just love a good party.

In any case, I'm not sure what the rule of etiquette is on the allowance of time to respond. Even looking back at my own wedding invitation, we did not have an RSVP, or a *save the date*, we just figured whoever would come, would, and whoever wouldn't , that's fine too, no big deal. I mean I understand it can be helpful in deciding how much food to prepare etc... however...

My cousins oldest daughter is graduating high school. Now keep in mind, we are not invited to the actual graduation (thank goodness, I went to a close friend's daughters graduation last year and it was a very emotionally agonizing 2 hours....)...but rather a party that takes place the following Saturday. I got the invitation YESTERDAY which says "Please RSVP by May 10th..." 2 days...ok.... Like I said I'm no expert, but I don't think that's exactly *normal*.

On the one side, this is basically just a BBQ/Picnic at a local park, so its not really a big deal, on the other hand, its also directly in the window of time my wife could very well be having her surgery or recovering from it, but it hasn't been scheduled yet. I let my cousin know about this a while ago... I have no problem reminding her, my only concern is that #1, she has always been a HUGE procrastinator, and extremely unorganized, thus the reason why i think these invitations went out so late. #2- I believe many of her friends wont be quite as sympathetic, and will not communicate to her one way or another which will only cause her more frustration....

case in point... She threw a B-Day party for her husband a few years back at a local sports bar/Grill (which I made sure to stay far away from), evidently there was the understanding that all attendees were to pay for their own food & drinks...somehow though, that was not communicated, and my cousin got stuck paying the entire amount of all food/drinks at that gathering (I don't even ant to know how much that was...)

I just hope she understands that her frustration is mostly self inflicted, and unfortunately i can already see the same patterns in her kids. It is kind of sad because as kids we were quite close, more like siblings because neither of us had any, but as adults, despite living in the same town, we rarely talk more than a couple times per year.

At any rate, these next few weeks will be interesting. Sure Ill get the kid a gift, not sure what yet, but my wife's health and making sure my own kids are staying up with their school is my #1 priority. The Graduation party, not so much.
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Postby klen7 » Fri May 10, 2019 10:41 am

When I receive a mail back RSVP with the postage already applied, i usually RSVP via phone and then mail back the physical RSVP without any name or context on it a year or so after the event.
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