by Dr Kain » Sun Oct 19, 2014 3:44 pm
Friday the 13th VIII Jason Takes Manhattan - or better yet, Jason Takes a Boat to Manhattan that is Sometimes Vancouver. Seriously, this movie is a mess. It takes over an hour to even get to Manhattan. The chronology is messed up as there is no way this movie could be 30 years later when there was 15 years after Jason died to when his mother got killed, 5 years for the events of the second through the fourth movies, ten years for the sixth, fifteen years for the seventh, and now this. That makes it at least 40 years. Jason has suddenly developed the ability to teleport. On the positive side, I can at least say this movie proves he does not have ADD since he has hundreds of people he can kill at his whim but only sticks to going after the main characters. Of course, he doesn't help then Renney seems to have her character shields on at all times since there were multiple occasions when Jason could have just killed her back on the boat. Finally, that ending is just flat out stupid. Why is NYC flooding their sewers with toxic waste each night? Is that part of a new "Get Rid of the Alligators" initiative? And how does this waste make Jason turn into a boy? That makes no sense. Now the movie does have some great moments in it, especially when it came to the scenes in Manhattan. I love the scene when Jason first emerges from the bay and there is a hockey mask sign. Also the death scenes are awesome, especially the one with the boxer. It was a cool idea to bring Jason to a big city, as I love everything about that, but this movie takes too damn long to get there and spends too short of a time there. At least the pay off is good for the most part. Unfortunately, most of the characters are just flat out stupid to be likable, assholes, or their acting is just really really awful. Some of the worst in the entire series. Overall, I give this movie a 4/10 as it does at least make a good ending point for those who find the next set of movies to be pure crap.
Jason Goes to Hell - Just like its title, this movie can go straight to Hell. It absolutely sucks. There is absolutely no character development. Hell, the movie doesn't even really have an ending as we don't even really see the remaining characters once Jason is gone beyond them walking away in the background. The deaths are bland and dumb. There is nothing creative to be had. Suddenly Jason has a sister and only his bloodline can kill him for good? I think I have heard this plot before. Jason himself looks like a mess. They couldn't even get his mask right. Also, now it is suddenly only twenty years after the events of the original movie? WTF? Who wrote this thing? Did they not pay attention to anything before it? Oh, and for a house that has been left to rot for the last (at least 20) years, it sure is hell looks to be in such great shape. I won't even bother getting into the concept of Jason having the ability to transfer bodies now as that makes absolutely no sense. Add on top the pointless characters like Duke and you have one stupid dumb ass movie that was made by someone who had no idea how to even make a horror film. THe previous entries might not have been the greatest pieces of cinematic history, but at least they felt like an attempt was made to make them entertaining. Here, there is nothing except, "HEY, LOOK, IT IS A JASON MOVIE, GIVE YOUR MONEY!!" all around it. I give this piece of **** a very high dishonorable 1/10 stars. Not only that, but it is also one of the worst movies ever made. Lastly, you know that not even the movie studios care about this movie when every movie in the entire box set has bonus feature documentaries on it, even Jason X, EXCEPT this one.
Jasonator X - How do you know you have no ideas for a long running horror series anymore? You bring the main killer into outer space, that is how. The only positives I can give this movie are for the cool death scenes and that it was at least better than the previous movie. Other than that, this movie sucks ass and gets 2/10 stars from me.
Freddy vs Jason - Normally I do not think crossover movies work, but in this case, it does. In fact, I would say this is the best crossover movie to date. It is fun, it has a lot of great death scenes, and some really cool action scenes. Funny enough, this movie was my introduction to both the Freddy and Jason characters. It does have a lot of issues, such as it's hokey plot, the fact that they completely jacked up Jason's look (he is not supposed to have a left eye), and Jason is suddenly afraid of water. The fight scenes between the duo is down right awesome and brutal though. Robert Englund is definitely at his finest here, but I don't really get why they did not have Kane return as Jason. Sadly, the character development is what your are expected, but at least it is vastly superior to the development found in the last two Friday movies. Overall, I give it a 7/10 stars.
