Monster Zero x SciFi Japan - Archive Only

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Mon Apr 11, 2005 4:49 am

A weird idea (well after having another franchise disappoint you that you want to leave can do that to you).

It talks about the battle that takes place 20 years before Final Wars.

by **Biohazard85** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:35 pm

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:15 pm

If I remember correctly, wasn't it twenty years ago (I read it from the summary provided on the message boards here). If that is true then I'll see about making the adjustments.

by **Biohazard85** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 6:48 pm

by **Kaiju Nexus** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 6:54 pm

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Fri May 27, 2005 7:12 am

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Sat Jul 09, 2005 3:09 pm

Heads up, just finished chapter 3 of Operation: Final Strike.

by **Biohazard85** » Tue Jul 12, 2005 6:59 pm

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 7:50 pm

Added chapter 4 of Operation: Final Strike. Please read and review.

by **Moonlight SY-3** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 8:36 pm

Interesting stuff. Looking forward to the action when it comes.

In general, the writing is good, but at times unclear and unfocused. I found myself reading passages two or three times in an attempt to follow what you were trying to say. Not big problems, but definitely a hindrance to the smooth flow of the story.

Some nit-picky technical things:
I don't know how familiar you are with Japanese surnames, or how you chose the surnames for your characters, but several stood out as a bit unusual: Hakauyate, Udea, and to a lesser extent, Arigama.

I have never heard of these as Japanese surnames, and a quick search revealed no examples. Of course, there are always exceptions, but since you appear to be striving for a very realistic portrayal of Japan and all things Japanese in your story, I thought you'd like an opinion on this point.

Also, at one point you list Yokosuka and the Inland Sea in a slightly confusing passage that might lead some to think that Yokosuka was near the Inland Sea, which it is not (by about 500 kilometers).

Anyway, it's obvious that you are putting a lot of work into your story, and I hope you are encouraged to continue to do so.

And thank you so much for not including a "beautiful Japanese scientist/Kaijuologist/reporter/whatever" in your story. That has to be the most cliched device in Kaiju fan fiction.
(My apologies if one was coming later!)

by **SparkieGojira** » Tue Aug 23, 2005 5:36 pm

by **Moonlight SY-3** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 9:11 am

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Wed Aug 24, 2005 12:25 pm

by **Moonlight SY-3** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 11:42 am

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 5:09 pm

by **Moonlight SY-3** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 10:37 am

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 12:29 pm

Let me check to make sure I have everything correct thus far.

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 11:46 am

Updated with chapter 5 of my fanfic.

Please read and review.

by **Zack Metoyer** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 1:25 pm

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:32 pm

by **Zack Metoyer** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 3:34 pm

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:33 pm

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 4:28 pm

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 12:14 pm

by **Andrew Nguyen** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:39 pm

Monster Zero x SciFi Japan - Archive Only

Discuss: Operation: Final Strike.

Discuss: Operation: Final Strike.

Who is online