B-WARE 2007 - 200 upcoming b-movies

[TheFoywonder]

I did the original B-WARE 2005 back in January of that year and vowed to never do it again. Well, I did it again. B-WARE 2007 contains listings, artwork, plot details, and website/trailer links for 200 upcoming and in-the-works b-movies that you can expect to hit cable and DVD in the near future. Predominately focusing on genre fare (sci-fi/horror/creature features), you'll also find a few action movies, comedies, and Skinemax flicks listed. Quite the eclectic mix of cinematic schlock if I say so myself. So much so I had to divide it up alphabetically over four pages. Like the motto goes, "B-INFORMED! B-WARNED!"

[Shonokin]

Thank you Foy, amidst what looks like mostly very bad stuff, there seem to be some gems.
Looking forward to
BACTERIUM
BARON AGAINST THE DEMONS
THE GHASTLY LOVE OF JOHNNY X
TRAIL OF THE SCREAMING FOREHEAD
ZOMBEAK (which reminds me, you know about the upcoming , right?)

and while we're on the subject of bloodthirsty farm animals...

[Tom R VanSlambrouck]

[TheFoywonder]

New Addition: GINGERDEAD MAN 2: PASSION OF THE CRUST

According to a story on Fangoria, the currently in pre-production sequel is set to begin filming on May 15th with Charles Band stepping aside to only produce the flick, which will be written and directed by the co-scripter of the original, Sylvia St. Croix. Funny thing is "Sylvia St. Croix" is an Alan Smithee-type moniker used by writers and directors that don't want to have their real names credited to a film, so clearly someone is not particularly proud to be making this movie. How a person could not want their name forever associated with a motion picture called Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust is beyond me. And yes, that is what they intend to call the sequel. There's hokey and there's this.

The mysterious Sylvia St. Croix described the plot to Fango as, "It takes place on the set of an ultra-low-budget horror film, where a sick Make-a-Wish-type kid wants to meet the cast and crew. He and the others get more than they bargain for when the world’s most ruthless, violent yet chewy and delicious cookie returns to continue his murderous killing spree. Bad yeast will rise again—with the ultimate in horrible taste." We're also told to expect several cameos from familiar genre faces from both in front of and behind the camera, which I guess means we can at least take comfort in knowing that Tim Thomerson will earn yet another paycheck for a 30-second walk-on in a Full Moon production.

Though I fully realize this is a goofy horror-comedy about a psychopath reborn as a killer cookie, I'm still left wondering what kind of kid, especially one with a terminal illness, would have a dying wish to visit an ultra-low-budget horror film set. Well, maybe if it were a young boy hoping to talk Tiffany Shepis into giving him some pity sex I could understand, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

One thing the Fango article doesn't mention that leaves me a bit disturbed is no mention of Gary Busey returning as the voice of the Gingerdead Man. I'm assuming they're just going to have a sound-a-like doing the voice as they did for its cameo in Evil Bong (review), but I can assure you that it just won't be the same. You can imitate the madness that is Gary Busey, but you can't be the madness that is Gary Busey. Only Busey can be Busey, and like I said in my Gingerdead Man review, a sequel without Gary Busey doing the voice will more than likely end up just being half-baked. Perhaps realizing this is why the filmmaker has decided to go with a pseudonym?

By the way, the mysterious Sylvia St. Croix in this case may or may not be original Critters scribe Dominic Muir. I'll just save that mystery for Mulder & Scully to unravel on a rainy day.

[Dagarah72]

[TheFoywonder]

If Ulli Lommell mortifies you then these two articles should truly horrifiy you.




For more B-WARE goodness, head over to my blog ASAP and you'll find stories about two "Hogzilla" movies, Vagabond: Enter the Carnivore, the official plot synopsis of Megasnake leaked to me by an insider on the production, Hobgoblins 2, Max Neptune & the Menacing Squid, and Transmorphers. Plus reviews of Supercroc and the yet-to-be-released-in-the-US giant monster flick Cry of the Winged Serpent. Blog link in my sig.