I'm sticking with "hipsters" as my explanation. Stuff like "Pregnancy test LOL!" makes them pretend they love it. I'll admit, that is something that could work on a "SO stupid, it's amazing" level, but in the context of the film as a whole, it doesn't work...because the film itself is SO DULL. As has been said, when the monster shows up, it gets boring, and that's because the monster is a weakling, so we don't CARE if it shows back up. There's no tension, there's nothing interesting, and degenerating into Jurassic Park ripoffs is just lazy.
side note: the kaiju design is a cool one, and in all honesty, I would have been capable of accepting it as Godzilla if it ACTED like Godzilla. It would go down as the funkiest, weirdest, farthest departure of a re-design, but I could do it. I still think it's a cool design on its own right, too...but the characteristics of the creature in this film are just awful.