The Sh*tty Day thread

[klen7]

I dont think anybody can prove or disprove the existence of God for you, they can only offer something to disprove or reinforce your personal notion of God. Thats why there are so many different religions across the world, and that's probably part of what started this spiral for you. Beyond the crisis of faith it sounds like you have a lot going on with work and life in general, so I hope this new doctor can help you root out some of the causes. Sometimes we just need some change to kick things back into gear. Good luck and keep us updated.

[hanshotfirst1138]

I'm NOT getting better at the moment. I was excited that the Abilify seemed to be working, and man, I crashed hard. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I have another doctor's appointment set up for Tuesday and some psychological consulting set up in a couple of weeks.

[Dr Kain]

That feeling when one of your friends who makes $42K a year complains about how she is underpaid by $15,000 and you say, "I have a Master's and when I get a full time position I will only be making $34K a year," and she respond with, "WELL I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL TO BE A TEACHER, I GOT MY MASTER'S TO BE AN ACCOUNT!"

[DannyBeane]

[daikaijusaurus]

[hanshotfirst1138]

Unfortunately, I've developed something of an addiction (not a good word and probably an insulting one to people with actual addictions, and I apologize, to the nastiest side of the anti-religious movement (Dawkins, Barker and the FFRF, Hitchens, Dillahunty), and I CANNOT stop. My parents haven't forced anything on me (I'm almost 30, for goodness sake), and I owe my Catholic upbringing loving parents, good friends, a strong moral foundation, and exceptional private school education. I've always had a very live-and-let-live policy, and I certainly don't think I have a monopoly on the truth or that everyone else is going to hell. And if God's not there, I'm perfectly capable of believing atheists are capable of being great and moral people. But this is now consuming my mind. The medication is taking the edge off of some of it, but I'm still so damaged by it that I feel like I'll never be back to where I was or want to be ever again. I think my faith is cracked, and I'm going to have to find a way of living with it. I've never had the slightest interest in being part of the whole contemporary atheist anti-religion movement, but it seems all I can obsess about now. I wish I could say I had even the slightest idea what's wrong with me.

Thanks for the advice and the kindness. I have so much of it and so much to be thankful for. I just can't enjoy ANYTHING in life because of this obsession. Thanks again, you have a good heart.

[lhb412]

^ You're really hammering home exactly why it's called a 'crisis' of faith, as it certainly sounds like a personal crisis! Personally, I stopped believing somewhere around age 14, as I was feeling really guilty about damning people to hell. I felt akin to being in with the mob, and when I stopped believing it was a nice weight off my shoulders.

As for the current thing triggering my anxiety: my eyes. I had an increase in the amount of eye floaters (which I've always had to some degree) that I first noticed almost two months ago. Had a simple vision exam for my glasses prescription a few weeks later and was told it was just natural and nothing to worry about, but I've become so paranoid and anxious about it I think I won't be satisfied until I've had a more thorough examination.

[O.Supreme]

[lhb412]

^I'm from the South and was raised Baptist, and for me the 'judgy' element was always emphasized, but I know that doesn't represent all Christians.

[jellydonut25]

We're in a REALLY tough spot here, people.

I don't want to discourage someone who's having a tough time from being able to express themselves and vent and reach out to a friendly ear...but religion isn't an appropriate subject for the forum.

[Tom R VanSlambrouck]

Weird lbh my eyesight has been acting up too as of late. I've been getting the eye floaters more than ever and having severe eye strain too. Just the other night I was watching one of my favorite youtubers do a play through of battle toads and he got to this one spot in the game and it was very hard for me to focus on it.

I had my eyes checked out last year and my optomitrist at work said my vision was good and that I should skip out on the vision insurance this year. So I did. I think I'll get it for next year and schedule and eye exam again. I've also been getting migraines a lot recently too. I have a feeling that's due to working under artifical lighting for so long.

[lhb412]

^I'm nearsighted, but rarely wore glasses except when driving or at a movie theater, but by the beginning of this year I noticed I was straining my eyes more and more and have taken to wearing my glasses most of the time.

[Dai]

^ It's important to have your eyes checked if you have a sudden increase in floaters, but also check that you're not just being more aware of the ones you already had. I tend to find mine more noticeable at certain times of the year when there's more direct sunlight, and also at times of the day when the sun is fairly low in the sky. Bright light makes them more noticeable, and once you focus on them your brain stops filtering them out for a while. Your optometrist/ophthalmist should check your retina for signs of tearing. They'll give you eyedrops to dilate your pupil--if they didn't then they probably haven't done that part of the examination.

Pains in and around the eye can be caused by the surrounding muscles squeezing the eyeball to optimise the curvature of the lens; that's your body's attempt to compensate for deteriorating eyesight. You might not notice your eyesight worsening at first, but there's greater strain placed on your eye if you don't wear corrective lenses. If you ever hear your eye creaking when you move it, that's all the more likely the cause. Your optometrist/ophthalmist should check the pressure in your eye (also testing for glaucoma) either with a device that blows a puff of air into your eye or lightly taps on the surface of it. The latter one freaked me out the first time I had it done, and made me blink a lot, but it doesn't really hurt.

I had some 'fun' with my eyes last year when I suddenly developed a blind spot. Initially they thought it was a cotton wool spot, but those are supposed to resolve after a couple of months. After several months of tests and escalation to a consultant the verdict was basically a shrug. His exact words were, "I can't treat what I can't see" (even though it showed up on the photos his team had taken), and then he discharged me. So now I'm left with an unidentified permanent blind spot, and no idea of what caused it or if I'll get another one at some point. The wonders of 21st Century medical science.

Other 'fun' stuff recently: chronic tinnitus, waiting on the results of an MRI to see if I have a tumour in my head, anxiety attacks, my workplace is being relocated meaning I'll lose an extra hour out of my day to driving time, and that'll make it even more difficult to work on my master's dissertation in my free time (which was already driving me up the wall).

[lhb412]

[hanshotfirst1138]

[lhb412]

^Why not read some philosophy as well as some other religions? There are plenty of folks who consider themselves basically atheists but who follow certain tenets of Buddhism, for example. It's not a binary, but a spectrum of belief, faith, and philosophy.

Take care of yourself, buddy.

[Dr Kain]

Apartment hunting suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

We got told today that if we renew our apartment's lease our rent is going to go from $1460 a month to $1675. Also, we have an option to get updated appliances, but it is going to add another $30 a month to our rent for them to do so.

As such, we went out to four apartments today. The first one we got to the lady in the office was rude as hell and shrugged us when we asked if we could know about the community.

Second place was extremely friendly, answered every question, has put us down to receive discounts on the application stuff for my being substitute teacher, and the community was awesome. The problem is, the rent at that place is going to be $1600 a month, and while that is cheaper than what our current apartment is offering, that is far more than we want to pay for an apartment in general. This place also doesn't have garages.

The third place we went to had a sign that they would be in about a half hour or so after we got there. Given that they were in the middle of nowhere, the area didn't look great, and the wait time with no guarantee they wouldn't already be with someone for another half hour after that, we decided to leave. The fourth place we went too we didn't even bother staying past a minute because it was an income restricted complex and we make $3000 too much than what they required with no leeway.

Ah poo!

[canofhumdingers]

Geez man, your rent is as much as my mortgage for a 2500 sq foot, 3 bed, 3 bath house with a two car garage and a decent sized backyard. Have you thought about buying? There's programs that let first time buyers go with no down payment and stuff. And then you can get a lot or even all your money back (or even better, actually MAKE money) when you sell it.

[Dr Kain]

[canofhumdingers]

Yeah, Denver is insanely over priced. Hopefully the fact that many other states have legalized pot will drive the prices back down to more reasonable levels (not advocating pro or anti pot, just pointing out it played a significant role in driving up housing costs - both to rent or own - in Colorado when it was the only state).

But if you do wind up moving somewhere more affordable, I'd seriously look into buying if you plan on being there 5 years or longer. We had no down payment on our first home, and only a small one for our second. There are various programs to help 1st time buyers with that kind of thing. Maybe it won't work, but it's certainly worth investigating.

I mean, we actually lost money when we sold out first house, but even when you count the loss, the money we invested in small home improvement projects, and the occasional repair it still came out cheaper than renting an equivalent (or even lesser) place for the same length of time. Rent is often nearly twice what your mortgage payment will be for the same space.

Anyway, good luck finding a new place. I agree, the hunt does suck.

[Dr Kain]

Yeah. Legalizing weed was the worst thing to happen to this state. Not only because it brought in morons from all across the country, but also because it seems like people thought legal meant being allowed to be irresponsible with it. I am so sick and tired of smelling that "OH GODZILLA! WHAT TERRIBLE LANGUAGE!" at the train station, outside of hotels, and sometimes even from my own apartment window. They all need to move their rank asses back where they belong.

It either needs to become fully legal across the board or back to being illegal. At this point, I don't care which, just get it away from my nose and take cigarettes with it! Oh, and those stupid vapor things. Not cigarettes my ass. They still stink like crap.

Anyway, we're ****ed no matter what decision we make.

[hanshotfirst1138]

[Tom R VanSlambrouck]

I had a dentist appointment and while it wasn't bad it wasn't good either. I had some major tarter build up which they had to do a lot of work to clean my teeth. On top of that I need change my toothpaste and mouth wash I use and I have to invest in an electric tooth brush as well as a waterpik. Those right there are going to be about a $200+ investment

I didn't have any cavitities so that's good however they want to get me a mouth guard to help me stop grinding my teeth which I think I only do when I'm really pissed off or stressed out. That's going to be $200

ugh all these health issues hitting all at once thankfully they aren't serious.

[lhb412]

^Grinding my teeth because of stress gave me a terrible crack in a molar last year (and a minor crack in another tooth that isn't serious right now but we'll have to watch it), had to have the whole tooth ground down and capped - and no matter how much they numb my mouth my whole body still tenses up as though I'm feeling the pain! It's certainly not fun.

[Tom R VanSlambrouck]

That happened a lot today during my cleaning. My mouth is still really sore despite the fact I had the cleaning six hours ago. It'll probably be sore for a few days.