He's All To Blame Part 1 - A Short Comedy Script

[Zebulun]

(Hey guys, I wrote this while I was bored at work. Showed it to a few friends, and they thought it was hilarious, so I've decided to see what some other G-Fans might think of this. Love it or hate it, I'm interested in hearing your opinions. See ya at the review thread!)



FADE IN:

INT/EXT. ALEX'S HOUSE - DAY

The BLARING noise of a Godzilla movie being played can be heard all around.

ALEX'S ROOM

ALEX, a young, slightly overweight, 20 year old guy, who sports a pair of goofy glasses and unshaven facial hair, reclines on his bed, watching the television with glee.

ON THE TV

It is a scene of utter destruction as Godzilla desolates Tokyo once more.

BACK TO ALEX

ALEX
Man, there's nothing like watching the big G going to town on the town!

On THE TV

The scene switches to that of the Mothra fairies singing one of their sacred songs.

BACK TO ALEX

Alex grins at the sight of the fairies.

ALEX
Ah, the only thing I like about Mothra; the company she keeps!

The television FLASHES brightly. Alex recoils with a jump. The flashes continue faster and faster while the fairies' sacred song intensifies and increases in decibels.

ALEX
What the blargging blarg is going on here?!

Alex reaches for his lightsaber. He then disappears into the flashing lights.

Ext. MONSTER ISLAND - DAY

Alex wakes up in the bushes. He looks up at the jungle foliage above and around him.

ALEX
I take it back. I hate everything about Mothra!

Alex makes his way through the jungle with his lightsaber in hand. He rounds a corner and comes to a dead halt.

ALEX
Holy crap...

Sitting in front of Alex is none other than MINYA.

ALEX
Minya? Holy crap, it's actually you!

Minya turns around and silently stares at Alex.

ALEX
Dude, I'm like one of your biggest fans! I'd ask for your autograph, but uh...

Minya LAUGHS, loudly, deeply.

MINYA
And I bet you want to be my best friend too?! Well you can go screw yourself, human!

Minya WHISTLES. The bushes wildly rustle all around. Alex backs away nervously as a mob of GODZILLAS appear.

They encircle and menacingly growl at Alex.

ALEX
Wait, you can't harm me! I'm...

All of the Godzillas' mouths become aglow with power.

ALEX
A g-fan?

All of the Godzillas unleash their heat rays upon Alex.

ALEX
Oh, fiddlesticks...

The beams combine together and explode with a great ferocity.

Alex leaps away just in time. Minya sees this and signals to the other Godzillas as Alex runs away.

MINYA
After him, fools! Stomp him like you would stomp Tokyo!

Ext. Valley - DAY

Alex runs for his life. The Godzillas pursue him in earnest.

ALEX
Oh man, this sucks! These Godzillas can run like Gino!

In the distance, Alex sees a lone figure, obscured by the sweltering heat and dust.

ALEX
Hey you! I could use some...

A breeze clears away the dust, and the figure is revealed to be none other than GABARA.

ALEX
...help?

Gabara stands tall as Alex approaches.

GABARA
Yeah! Not to worry, innocent civilian! The great Mr. Gabara is here to save you!

Alex's eyes bug out of his head. He passes Gabara by and the Godzillas are instantly upon him.

Gabara surprisingly generates an electrical maelstrom. It knocks the Godzillas out cold.

Gabara raises his fist in victory...

GABARA
Yeah!

...until a familiar fist knocks him upside the head.

Minya stands triumphantly over Gabara's prone form.

MINYA
I have waited a long time for this moment! My little green...

The SNAP-HISS of a cyan colored lightsaber blade ignites and cuts off Minya's head.

Alex glares down at his fallen foe, breathing deeply.

ALEX
owned...

Gabara stirs to consciousness. He turns over and sees Minya's headless body beside him.

GABARA
Uh oh, Ichiro's gonna be pissed.

Alex helps Gabara up to his feet.

ALEX
Thanks for the help, Gabby. I need to get going though and somehow find a way to get out of this place.

Gabara points in the direction of a far away lake.

GABARA
In that case, you'll need to seek out Mothra. She's in the mountainous region on the other side of the island.

Alex slaps his forehead and groans.

ALEX
Mothra...it's always freaking Mothra!

Alex storms off.

GABARA
Wait! I didn't tell ya about Zilla's Lake.
(sighs)
He's so screwed...

Ext. Zilla's lake - AFTERNOON

Alex stands on the shoreline, looking out at the water.

ALEX
Well, this doesn't seem so bad.

The water then SHIFTS and RISES upward.

ALEX
I just had to say something...

A SMALL FORM leaps out of the water. It lands before Alex's feet.

ALEX
What the?! Gino?!

Zilla glares at Alex.

ZILLA
My name is not Gino, damn it! It's Zilla! And it's Lord Zilla to you!

Alex points his lightsaber hilt at Zilla.

ALEX
Yeah, I refuse to call you that, Gino! Now get out of my way if you know what's good for ya!

Zilla growls at Alex.

ZILLA
This is my lake, damn it! You cannot pass! Unless...you defeat me in battle!

In a flash, Zilla gets run through his neck with Alex's lightsaber.

ALEX
Flawless victory, beyotch!

Alex kicks Zilla away and walks off. Zilla lays on the ground, dying, and mumbling curses.

ZILLA
Fool...soon...I will return...and then...I will rule the world...it is...inevitable...

ALEX (O.C.)
You still alive?

A huge boulder then smashes Zilla.

MIDDLE OF THE LAKE

Alex crosses the water on a wooden ferry. He hums a familiar tune to himself.

A HUGE FORM rises out of the water. Alex falls back hard from shock.

ALEX
Aw, crap! This is straight out of King Kong!

The towering form of TITANOSAURUS gazes down at Alex.

ALEX
(whispering)
Oh, snap!

TITANOSAURUS
Roar...roar...
(sighs)
Roar...

Alex raises a confused eyebrow.

ALEX
Uh, at the risk of sounding crazy, is there something wrong?

Titanosaurus sighs again.

TITANOSAURUS
Lord Zilla sent me to kill you...but...I just don't feel like it.
(sighs)
Oh, God, I'm so depressed...

Titanosaurus sinks back into the water.

ALEX
Wait! Gino's still alive?!

Titanosaurus disappears beneath the surface.

ALEX
...this sucks...

Ext. MONSTER ISLAND - AFTERNOON

Alex arrives on the other side of the like.

He hears the sound of SINGING in the distance.

As he looks up, he sees an impressive mountain range.

ALEX
(sighs)
Why can't Mothra ever stay in a hotel or something?

AUSTRALIAN VOICE (O.S.)
Because she's a dirty "OH GODZILLA! WHAT TERRIBLE LANGUAGE!"!

Alex fearfully turns around...

SHODAI-GOJI greets Alex with a sinister grin.

SHODAI-GOJI
G'day, mate!

Alex goes running and screaming into the mountains.

SHODAI-GOJI
Aw, come on! I'm not that scary! I'm a really nice guy when ya get to know me! I've even gotten into knitting! And surfing too! Come on, buddy! Let's be friends!

Alex is gone.

SHODAI-GOJI
Well, some other time then, mate!

Ext. MONSTER ISLAND - EVENING

Alex reaches the top of the mountain rage. He's out of breath and falls onto his knees.

ALEX
Man, that was damn scary!

The singing from earlier is heard again, only louder this time. Alex heads in the direction of its origin.

Int. Stone arena - EVENING

Alex passes through a rocky doorway and finds himself in the middle of a circular stone structure not unlike the ancient gladiatorial arenas of the past.

He then looks over to the side and sees a trio of packaged boxes. The singing emanates from there.

Alex steps in front of the boxes and gasps.

ALEX
Moll! Lora! And...Gaira?

Moll and Lora sigh in relief.

Moll
It's about time you got here, Alex! We thought we'd be stuck in these damn boxes forever!

Alex points to himself.

ALEX
You know my name?

Lora
We're telepathic, remember?

ALEX
Oh, right! So how'd you guys end up in there anyway?

LORA
That rotten "OH GODZILLA! WHAT TERRIBLE LANGUAGE!", Mothra! She locked us in here when we wouldn't worship her one day! Now we're imprisoned for eternity! Never to sing and dance for lusting fanboys ever again!

Alex weeps bitterly.

ALEX
That's so cruel!

MOLL
So, we summoned you here to free us, Alex.

Alex stands up, smiling bright.

ALEX
Right! Wait...
(points to Gaira)
Him too?

Gaira SNORES loudly.

MOLL
Nah.

LORA
Nah.

Alex ignites his lightsaber.

ALEX
Okay, so what do I have to do to free you guys?

LORA
Simple. Kill Mothra!

Alex grins evilly.

ALEX
All right! Where is she?

Mothra's enormous blue bulbous eyes glow behind Alex. Mothra SCREECHES and blasts Alex with energy beams from her eyes.

ALEX
Flak!

Alex hits a wall upside down. Mothra flies after him, soaring high. Alex gets back up as Mothra swoops down to blast him.

Alex twirls his lightsaber as Mothra blasts him, deflecting her attacks. One of the blasts are redirected at Mothra, exploding on her wing.

Mothra screeches in pain. Alex then leaps at her. He slices her across her left eye.

Mothra cries out and smacks Alex with her other wing. Alex impacts the ground with a THUD.

Moll and Lora marvel at seeing Alex getting his butt kicked.

Mothra expels her poisonous powder onto Alex from above. Alex looks up and gasps.

ALEX
Oh, hell no!

Alex summons the Force and pushes the powder back at Mothra. Mothra chokes on her poison and falters in her flight.

Alex then uses the Force to hurl big stones at Mothra. Mothra is pelted by the full onslaught and is brought down.

Mothra struggles to rise as Alex stands over her.

ALEX
To quote Samuel L. Jackson, "I am going to end this, once and for all!"

Mothra suddenly rises again. In a flash of light, she transforms into RAINBOW MOTHRA.

ALEX
Now to quote Samuel L again. "Oh shi...!"

Mothra attacks Alex with every weapon in her arsenal. All Alex can do is run away with his arms flailing about.

Alex is blasted hard by one of Mothra's attacks. Smoke hisses and rises from his battered form.

Mothra hovers above Alex and charges up to unleash a final attack.

ALEX
(coughing)
Always did want to go out in a blaze of glory...actually I wanted to go out surrounded by beautiful women! Aw man, this sucks!

Mothra suddenly screeches in pain. A burning piece of sludge singes her wings.

Alex turns around. With both of his hands he unleashes a powerful wave of Force Lightning. Thousands of volts course through Mothra's body. Mothra is set aflame and explodes into a ball of fire.

Alex falls onto his back, exhausted. In a flash of light, the fairies and Gaira are freed from their imprisonment.

The fairies quickly concentrate and Gaira disappears in a puff of smoke.

Moll and Lora smile at Alex.

MOLL
Alex, you did it! You saved us from Mothra!

LORA
Now the fanboys are at peace once again.

Alex lets loose a tired chuckle.

ALEX
Anything for the fans.

He stands on one knee.

ALEX
So...do I get some kind of reward for saving you?

Moll and Lora grin.

MOLL
To quote a line from a well known videogame...

LORA
"Sorry Mario, but your princess is in another castle."

Alex sighs and hangs his head.

LORA
But, on the plus side, you get to hear us sing as we send you home!

Alex grins at the sound of that.

Moll and Lora sing one of their sacred songs. As the song reaches its high point, Alex disappears in a flash of light.

Zilla appears behind the fairies.

ZILLA
You have done well, my pretties!

MOLL
Thank you, Lord Gino.

LORA
Thank you, Lord Gino.

Zilla fumes.

ZILLA
It's Zilla! Lord Zilla, damn it!
(clears throat)
And our thanks should also go to Gabara and Hedorah.

Gabara and Hedorah chuckle evilly in the spotlight.

ZILLA
I'd thank Minya too, but considering that he's kind of dead...

Everyone mumbles something about Minya.

ZILLA
Now that Mothra is also dead, there's nothing to stop us! I will rule the world! It is inevitable...

We fade out from Monster Island as the air is filled with evil laughter.

The End