by jellydonut25 » Tue Jul 29, 2014 9:00 am
Cheap shows are awesome for seeing movies like this, because you don't care when they're terrible.
This movie is really three movies:
There's the incredibly awful, in every way that I had possibly hoped, with amazing hilarity, story of Electro. It's pathetic, cheesy, makes little sense, and is just an absolute BLAST. Great for laughing at.
Then there's the mostly solid story of Peter and Gwen. Solid chemistry between the characters, solid acting performances all around. It's a bit of a stretch to call this a "movie" but it's the only part of this movie I'd keep almost in its entirety were I making this movie.
Then there's the part of the movie that SUCKS. It sucks all the fun out of it, it rips out all the hilarity, and it bogs down the running time with no payoff. This is the movie about Peter finding his origins and his dad's past. This is BORING. Without this the movie is a solid 40 minutes shorter and SO MUCH MORE ENTERTAINING. I honestly don't care that they changed Spider-Man's origin. I care that there's no payoff and that it's BORING.
Now, I loved the Electro part, because it was the hilarious crapfest of ridiculous garbage that I was hoping for and the first 40 minutes of this movie was wildly entertaining in its atrociousness. The problem is it doesn't work with ANYTHING else in the movie. I mean, as entertaining as this movie would have been without all the BORING Parker stuff, it would still have been a trainwreck, because the legitimately good Peter/Gwen story and the hilariously awful Electro stuff don't mesh.
Also, HOW F***ING HARD IS IT TO DO THE GREEN GOBLIN?!?! HOLY HELL. I didn't know which of the three movies to put this in, because it is the only element that bridges the three movies going on here: there's its connection to the legitimately good Peter/Gwen stuff and a way in which re-writing it COULD have worked to make for a GOOD 90-minute movie. Then there's its connection to the god-awful boring genetic research Parker stuff and the way in which it's whiny and stupid and nobody cares. THEN there's the way in which it's just hilariously pathetic and so it fits right in with Electro.
This movie isn't just a trainwreck. It's several trainwrecks. And even with that, I wouldn't have understood all the hate until I suffered through the middle hour or so of the movie. First 40 minutes, hilariously bad. Final 30 minutes, combination hilariously bad and decent adaptation of the Death of Gwen Stacy. Middle hour....frigging horrible.